Online Dating Safety: A Guide to Preventing Romance Scams

Dating Scam Statistics

• According to a Pew Research Center survey, 52% of Americans who have used online dating sites say that they have come across someone they think was scamming them.
• Romance scams are one of the leading reasons for cryptocurrency losses, accounting for about $185 million of crypto losses since 2021.
• Dating scam victims sometimes become money mules or unknowingly become accessories in fraudulent activity.
• A Norton survey found that 76% of adults who have ever used a dating app or website have experienced at least one form of online dating scam, from catfishing to financial scams.

Why Do Scammers Target Online Daters?

Romance scammers are essentially emotional manipulators who exploit the natural human desire for connection and love. They’re patient predators who invest weeks or even months building trust before making their move.

Scammers may try to dupe you so they can

• Steal your identity
• Steal money
• Receive gifts
• Hurt you, kidnap you, or otherwise cause you personal harm
• Use you for their own personal entertainment or validation (most often seen in catfishing, or using someone else’s photos in place of their own).

The scammer may use financial gifts for personal spending, or sometimes they may launder money through romance scam victims. Many operate as part of organized crime rings, particularly those based overseas in countries like Nigeria, Ghana, and the Philippines.

Common Online Dating Scams and How to Spot Them

Before you understand how to prevent an online dating scammer from scamming you, you first must understand how to spot the signs of their schemes.

Here are the red flags that should make your spidey senses tingle:

• Information on their dating profile seems fake or suspicious.
• Their profile photos don’t seem to match their information, or they seem very outdated
• They share photos of other people, or hack into other people’s accounts, and pass them off as their own (often called “catfishing”).
• They continually make excuses for not meeting in person.
• Upon connecting, they immediately ask you to message them on another platform/app.
• They refuse to talk with you on a phone call or video call.
• They seem to form a bond or connection with you very quickly.
• You catch them lying about personal details such as their line of work, their personal appearance, etc.
• They ask for money through gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency for travel, medical emergencies, debts, or hospital bills.
• They ask you for financial information such as your salary.
• When you talk with this person over the phone, they don’t sound like the same person you’ve been chatting with online.
• They claim that their job requires them to be overseas. For example, they may claim to be in the military, a doctor, or oil-field worker, so they are never able to meet you in person.
• They tell inconsistent or grandiose stories about themselves.
• They may use disjointed language and incorrect grammar despite claiming to have a high level of education.

Want to see how these scams unfold in real life? Here are some actual experiences from people who’ve encountered suspicious matches:

• “Someone pretended to be someone who owned an antique shop and said they went to Dubai for an auction. They wanted me to pay for their lawyer fees when they had a problem at the auction. Then I knew it was a scam.” – Man , 70
• “I was told a very sad story to make me feel bad enough to send money to help this person, and after I sent the money, they blocked all communication with me.” – Woman, 31
• “A guy said his grandmother was really sick, and he needed bus fare to come to my town where she lived. Then he sent me a really sexy pic, but it really wasn’t him.” – Man, 54
• “Often, I would feel suspicious when the person I am talking to seems very cold and distant as soon as I try to meet them in person…It feels in these situations that the person either has something to hide or that they lied about their livelihood.” – Woman, 22
• “Most of the men who want to get laid are not shy about it. Some offer cash or other gifts.” – Woman, 52

How to Avoid Online Dating Scams

Here’s the golden rule of online dating safety: Never, ever send money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency to someone you’ve only met online, no matter how convincing their story sounds. Even if they claim it’s an emergency, even if they promise to pay you back, even if they send you what looks like official documents. Just don’t do it.

Many online scammers are skilled in the art of soliciting compassion from unsuspecting people searching for love. As you’ve already read, scammers will manipulate innocent people looking for romance online by telling various lies and stories. Even if you think your online love interest wouldn’t bamboozle you out of your money, you simply won’t know for sure until you’ve established an in-person relationship.

Here’s your defensive playbook to avoid becoming a victim:

• Research and cross-check potential matches using internet tools such as Google’s reverse image search.
• Run their photos through reverse image search engines like TinEye or Google Images to see if they’re stolen from someone else’s social media.
• See if you have any mutual friends with this person on social media and cross-check their reputation with your connections.
• Never send money to anyone you’ve met online.
• Don’t use the same photo on your dating profile that you use on your social media accounts – it’s easy for people to do a reverse image search through Google and quickly obtain more personal information on you (such as where you live) than you’d like.
• Talk to someone you trust if you are in doubt about an online love interest (it’s always good to get an outside opinion).
• Only use legitimate, reputable dating sites.
• Be careful about the type of personal or financial information you share with your online romantic interests, such as your address or income (to avoid identity theft).
• Enable two-factor authentication on your dating apps and use unique passwords for each platform to prevent account takeovers.

Overall, remember that having boundaries with your online romantic interests and remaining cautious is more than okay – it’s encouraged. Additionally, researching your online romantic interests isn’t something to be ashamed of, but a way to ensure your safety and the protection of your life, your property, and your assets.

What to Do if You Suspect Someone Is Attempting to Scam You

Trust your gut – if something feels off, it probably is. When red flags start waving, don’t wait around hoping things will get better. You may block this user on dating platforms and on your phone and, if you wish, you can report them to your dating system’s administrator.

Other reasons to report an online dating profile include (but are not limited to):

• Requests for intimate photos.
• Sending harassing messages.
• Attempting to threaten or intimidate you.
• Trying to sell you products or services.
• Seeming to have created a fake profile, or are mimicking a person you know.

If you’ve already sent money or shared financial information, contact your bank immediately and file a report with the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) at ic3.gov. Don’t feel embarrassed – these scammers are professionals who know exactly which emotional buttons to push. Your report could help prevent others from falling victim.

How to Stay Safe When Meeting a Date in Person

Meeting face-to-face is definitely the best way to verify someone’s identity, but let’s be smart about it. Even legitimate dates deserve a safety protocol.

According to recent studies, women remain significantly more concerned about personal safety when dating, with many taking extra precautions like sharing their location with friends or arranging check-in calls during dates. Regardless of your gender, we urge you to always consider your personal safety when dating someone online, when meeting them in person, and for the entirety of your relationship.

Here’s your safety checklist for that first in-person meetup:

• Meet in a busy public place during daylight hours for your first few dates. Coffee shops, popular restaurants, or museums are perfect – anywhere with plenty of witnesses and easy exits.
• Tell a friend where you’re going. Tell a friend who you’re meeting, why you’re meeting this person, and where you’re planning to meet them. You can even share your location from your smartphone with a trusted family member or friend during the date. 
• Listen to your gut. Sure, your date might not be saying or doing anything blatantly wrong or inappropriate, but if you get a bad instinctual feeling in your gut, follow it. Your instinct, sometimes referred to as our subconscious mind’s alarm system, can lead you to safety.
• Call the date off early if you aren’t enjoying it. If you feel uncomfortable or aren’t enjoying yourself, it’s always okay to end the date early and go home.
• Drive yourself or use your own transportation to maintain control over when and how you leave.
• Don’t hesitate to call the authorities. If someone attempts to harm you in any way, call 911 immediately.

Remember, dating should be fun, safe, and exciting. However, you should always take the necessary measures to preserve your personal safety and wellbeing when engaging in online dating endeavors. Though online dating platforms can be great places to meet romantic interests, they can also be breeding grounds for scammers searching for vulnerable people to deceive. Now that you’re equipped with some basic steps to stay safe, put yourself out there with confidence.

Final Thoughts

Romance scams have evolved into a billion-dollar criminal enterprise that preys on our most basic human need for connection. The good news? You’re not powerless against these predators. By staying alert to red flags, never sending money to online matches, and taking basic safety precautions when meeting in person, you can dramatically reduce your risk. Legitimate romantic partners will understand and respect your boundaries. Anyone who pushes back against reasonable safety measures probably isn’t worth your time anyway.

Remember, protecting yourself doesn’t mean being paranoid. It means being smart. Use reverse image searches, video chat before meeting, trust your instincts, and always have an exit strategy. And if something feels off? It probably is. Block, report, and move on. There are plenty of genuine people looking for love online; you just need to wade through the scammers to find them.

Citations:

1. Federal Bureau of Investigation. (2024). Internet Crime Report 2024.
   https://www.ic3.gov/AnnualReport/Reports/2024_IC3Report.pdf
2. Pew Research Center. (2023). Key findings about online dating in the U.S.
   https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/02/key-findings-about-online-dating-in-the-u-s/
3. Federal Trade Commission. (2024). Reports show scammers cashing in on crypto craze.
   https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/data-visualizations/data-spotlight/2022/06/reports-show-scammers-cashing-crypto-craze
4. CBS News. (2024). Romance scammers turn victims into “money mules,” creating a legal minefield for investigators.
   https://www.cbsnews.com/news/romance-scams-victims-money-mules/
5. Gen. (2024). Swipe Right on Safety: New Study from Norton Finds 64% of Online Daters are Interested in Using AI as a Dating Coach.
   https://investor.gendigital.com/news/news-details/2024/Swipe-Right-on-Safety-New-Study-from-Norton-Finds-64-of-Online-Daters-are-Interested-in-Using-AI-as-a-Dating-Coach/default.aspx